she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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