Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
