Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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