Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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