all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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