I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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