i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
this hospital has no fireball
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
