ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
