Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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