I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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