This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
