When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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