All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
