Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
