Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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