Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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