Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize