just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
