He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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