i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
babies were throwing up all over the place
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
