My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
