well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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