so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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