Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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