im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
