just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize