I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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