i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
