Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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