Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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