That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
