Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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