would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
