And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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