i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
