I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
