i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
