Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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