So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
