Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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