Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
