My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
