Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
