I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
