look no pants
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
