how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
