shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
