My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
