drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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