My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
