Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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