Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
