That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
