can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist