How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
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We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY