Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.