He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
