bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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