I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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