I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
