I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
