And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
