I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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