How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
