i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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