Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
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Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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