I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
