three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
