ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
