i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
