I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You made out with two different species that night
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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