He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
