I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
