Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
