think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
