found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
