I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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