I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
