How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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