I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry my hands just texted you
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
