No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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