I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
