whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
